Ups and downs. This is life. One day you are truly happy, one day you are so down and sometimes you just don’t know the reality.
One small thing but that pissed me off so much. I asked my manager at work – can I work from home tomorrow and he said softly no. I feel that I am not good enough to have that opportunity and now all my evening is fucked up. I am trying to keep myself in hands to not take a cigarette but I want to smoke so much. I want to cry, I am feeling that I don’t want to work that job anymore. I think how nice would be quitting.
How crazy is your mind?
That’s crazy. One small thing and I am so pissed off. Is it because I am quitting smoking or because it really affects me, or because I have maybe PMS. All together? Shit, what is happening with me? I know I need to learn to stay strong in any situation. I need to control myself and be overall situations what is happening in my life. This is shit and nothing – but why it makes me keep thinking about it?
Depressed again – suddenly
And again I feel not satisfied with my self. Again I think I am shit – doesn’t matter, nothing will help me and I can go back and drink and smoke there is no hope for me be happy one day. Feel like I am tired of fighting with my self.
I say thank you to my Higher power for everything that I have, for life what I have and I wish to ask him to help me. Give me happiness in life. I want to work for myself, earn money by myself and I don’t want to work for someone. I want to earn at least 3200eur a month with what I would be satisfied for some time.
God grant me the serenity to accept the thing I can not change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Ahh, people, how you cheer up yourself in these terribly depressive days? I guess guys even don’t have these PMS days – I am very sensitive in these days. Where you get your happiness and positiveness in life?