Some years ago I was asking myself – how to change my life in a better way? What should I do? Where should I go? Who could help me change my life? Is it possible even to change it? So many questions and so fewer answers. My life was crazy – believe me CRAZY.
Of course, everyone, in reality, thinks that he/she had the hardest life ever and there definitely will be someone who had wors life than yours. That’s why we can not compare we only can compare ourself. Only how it was before and how it is now and how I want to change my life now.
How to change my life?
What a question. Actually, I am not asking this question so often right now, but I am still thinking about how else I could change my life because I already did a big step in my life. I already change a lot of things in my life. I already changed. Sometimes I think its because I am getting older and of course my mind and my life will change with my years. But no it’s not true – so a lot of people stay in one place and they don’t grow up mentally.
The first step what did I do – I accept that my life became unmanageable and accept that I am powerless over it. I was drinking so often from my life depression that there was no point anymore to live. I wasn’t happy in no one field in my life and I could not understand how to change it.
I was so tired of my life so powerless over everything that is happening in my life that I just decide to go to AA. Didn’t expected nothing just wanted to stop drinking. Since then now past 4 years as I am there and it all was life-changing. I start to learn myself. Analyze why I am drinking and what gives it to me. Nothing – just destroying my life. I learn so many things in AA what I could not understand before. I find meaning in life, start to understand life and when you are prepared for certain situations in your life it’s not that scary anymore.
It wasn’t easy. The hardest thing in all life is to change yourself, but I started to believe in Higher Power (Not a god or any other religious) – just higher power as I understood him. Accept the things what I can not change and change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. I had so a lot of pain in my life when I felt that there is no way out. However, there is always way out just need to analyze. I made so many mistakes, but alcoholics anonymous give me sober solutions for so many things. Everyone has their own problems in life but if you try to forget your problems with alcohol you never learn a lesson from your mistakes from your problems.
I feel relief now after my painful last months. Time goes and I learn a lesson. Your mental health depends on how you can fix your problems, how fast you can solve your problems and understand why it happens how it happens.
I am in recovery. Happy that I didn’t pick up a drink last months because it was really painful, depressed, full of sadness, stress, anxiety however I will be over it and I will survive. I will get back to life and I give up of fighting I just let my Higher Power do whatever he wants with me.